In Limbo


Like this flower, I'm in limbo.

Life is very uncertain right now. And for this self-professed "planner" this is a huge deal. Our house has been on the market for almost 2 months now, and while we've had some promising showings, no offers as of yet. I'm also approximately 4 weeks away from the birth of our son. I'm so excited I can't stand it! And at the same time, I'm terrified.

I have no idea why I feel more anxious about this impending labor and delivery than I was with the girls. This is my third so as my doctor put it, I'm an "old pro" at giving birth. Ha! (This comment was met with slight disgust as "old" is something you never need to call a pregnant lady.) But come on, really, are you ever a pro at giving birth?!

You see, I had my mind made up about how I wanted labor and delivery to go with the first and the second (both being completely different). And then this time I'm throwing my hands up and saying, "We will just see how it goes." What kind of plan is that??

I like having a plan. And this time I don't.

BUT this I know....I trust God.

When fear and anxiety threaten to steal my peace about a situation, I have to remind myself that I have a sovereign God who already knows how this thing is going to go down. And it's good because it is His plan.

Nothing makes me feel weaker or more vulnerable than pregnancy. I know that sounds odd since pregnancy should make a woman feel empowered and purposeful. And I understand that.

My husband certainly doesn't understand my feelings of weakness as he stands in awe of what God designed my body to do during pregnancy and childbirth. (God bless him as he also prepares to witness the birth of our third blessing in the next few weeks.)

The Lord has had "my strength is made perfect in your weakness" from 2 Corinthians 12:9 on repeat in my head all week. I don't know about you, but I've experienced periods of transition or weakness where He showed up and brought about a season of total dependence on Him, which is where we need to be all of the time. It's in these transition periods that we do see His strength because of our weakness.

Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me that where I feel weak, your strength becomes that much more glorious!


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